Waiting
by Suzie's Q
Summary: And it wasn't just the dorm she was leaving. It was Hogwarts. Everything she'd dreamed about, everything she'd ever wanted - now she had to leave it all behind. The world was waiting - and everything they'd been holding out on, every decision, their whole future - it wouldn't wait any longer. And she wasn't ready. James/Lily fluff, really.


Disclaimer: No... no...

Thank you to Kate, for looking this over and proffering your stellar opinion, and also for listening to my whine about my life is while I tore my hair out trying to find a title for this. Your patience (tolerance) is always greatly appreciated. No, I'm not Jo. Totally pointless fluff. Happy reading!

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**Waiting**

"Lily."

It was so soft, so gentle, she would have bet she'd dreamed it. In fact, it fit right in with her dream so well that she didn't question it, only snuggling further into the pillow.

Then came a small chuckle, and again, "Lily."

She felt his lips at her neck and she murmured, poking one eye open. There weren't too many nights that she spent in his dorm, but she loved every second of the rare nights she slept. Most of the time, she pretended to fall asleep so she wouldn't have to leave.

After a few seconds she sighed and lifted her head, squinting in the sunlight as she glanced over her shoulder to find her boyfriend leaning over her. "What are you waking me up for?" she said softly, feeling his arm loosen around her waist as she rolled onto her back, propped up on her elbows.

"You told me to, remember?" James said, in the same peaceful, soft tone.

"I did?" she said, stifling a yawn. "Why would I do something like that?"

He laid out on his back again after shrugging one shoulder, and immediately she cuddled into him. "You said you wanted to study, remember?" he said quietly, wrapping one arm around her.

She wrinkled her nose and frowned up at him. "A bad idea on my part, admittedly," she mumbled, closing her eyes and listening to the steady beat of his heart, which was strong from where she rested her head.

"Well, the exams do start tomorrow," he said, shoving his glasses on and blinking down at her.

"Mmmm."

They were both quiet for a minute, while Lily gathered her thoughts, intent on going back to sleep.

"Good dream?" he muttered eventually, smiling when she met his gaze.

She hid her confusion. How did he _do _that? Instead, she shrugged. "What makes you say that?" she said offhandedly. He just looked at her, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth further and further upwards.

After a few seconds, his look got to her and she ducked her head, burying her face into his shoulder to hide the way it was burning. "I was doing it _again?"_ she nearly squeaked, appalled. She reminded herself that there were three other sleeping boys in the room, so she had to be quiet – but then again, she didn't think anybody except James would have heard her over Remus' snores.

"Yes, you were," he replied, wrapping both arms around her waist.

She groaned. "That is so embarrassing."

"I like it," he told her, and she could hear the smugness in his tone even though she couldn't see his face. "Although, in the middle of the night, I keep thinking you want something or you're trying to talk. Instead of just dreaming about me," he added cheerfully, giving her a squeeze.

She grunted in reply, sighing.

"So I take it it had something to do with me then?" he said conversationally. She grunted again. "Good dream, then?"

She grinned in spite of herself, glad he couldn't see her face. "Mmm. Perfect."

"Oh, do tell," he said quickly, and she could feel his body shake with laughter.

"That would be telling," she retorted, pulling back to look at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"Yes, yes it would," he said, nodding.

She shook her head. "My lips are sealed. You know, figuratively."

He rolled his eyes, detaching himself from her and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "Let's get some breakfast, yeah?"

She frowned, catching his wrist and pulling back to the bed. "No, not yet," she said quietly, earning herself a bewildered look.

She shrugged. "It's my last time in this dorm," she pointed out. She didn't have any plans to stay there while their exams were going on, and now that she was being asked to leave, a feeling of nostalgia washed over her, as she happily reminisced about all the times they'd spent up there. "Give me a minute."

He still looked a little baffled, but he conceded, wrapping his arms around her again, her back to his chest. "If you say so."

"Just for a few more minutes."

"Alright, alright," he laughed.

She smiled up at him softly, alarmed at how final it seemed, now that they were here. Once it hit her, so suddenly, it was all she could think about. She was never going to be here again. They'd never stay up late talking until one of his mates had enough and sleepily told them to take it elsewhere. She'd never sneak up when the other three had left and surprise him. She wouldn't even see the place again.

And it most definitely felt like an ending. It made her sink into the pillow a little more, a small frown on her face. It made her clutch onto the sheets more tightly and press herself a little closer to James. She didn't _want _to go. It was too soon, and she had too many happy memories of this place to never see it again. And things being the way they were, any happy memory you could scavenge was precious.

And it wasn't just the dorm she was leaving. It was Hogwarts. Everything she'd dreamed about, everything she'd ever wanted - now she had to leave it all behind. The world was waiting - and everything they'd been holding out on, every decision, their whole future - it wouldn't wait any longer. And she wasn't ready.

"Are you going to miss it? The dorm?"

She sighed, and she didn't answer for a few minutes. He seemed content to wait in the silence for her, and she didn't want to say anything yet. They still had right now, she thought. Even if it was all they had, they didn't have to do anything right now. They were caught in between for a day, stuck at the finish line for a few precious hours. The exams were starting, and the world was waiting, but if she could have a few more hours before the ending, Lily was happy to stay stuck in between with James.

Eventually she looked around at him and nodded, a sombre expression on her face. "Yeah, I will," she mumbled, her brow furrowing.

"Will you miss me?" he asked then. Her frown only deepened.

"Why would I miss you?" she said sharply.

"That stung, Evans," he said, with an easy laugh.

"No, really. Are you going somewhere?"

"Well . . ." He was quiet for a few seconds. "You know, once we leave school . . . "

That was when she started laughing, wriggling around to face him. "And what, go our separate ways?" she said teasingly. He just looked at her blankly, giving a small shrug. She beamed up at him. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm afraid I won't be ditching you as soon as we're out of here. You're stuck with me." She laughed again and patted the top of his head, which earned her a scowl. "I'm keeping you," she told him cheerfully, as his hand flew to his hair and batted hers away.

His eyebrows shot up. "What, for good?"

Her smile froze on her face, her eyes flying wide – damn that bloody idiot. Why did he have to be so impulsive, and bloody brazen, and brave, and – perfect.

After a few seconds, she realized he was waiting for a reaction, so she twitched one shoulder in a delicate shrug, smirking back at him. "Maybe."

She may have been leaving a lot behind, now that school was ending. Lily wasn't sure of a lot, but she knew that if there was one thing she wasn't leaving behind, it was James. He was the one thing she _couldn't _leave behind, and if she could keep him around, she'd gladly leave behind the rest.

The corner of his mouth quirked up again, but she held his gaze, determined to ignore the flush that had now stained her cheeks.

Eventually, he stuck out his tongue and she rolled her eyes, sitting up. "Honestly, James. What did you think was going to happen?"

"Dunno," he replied.

She decided that deserved another eye-roll. "Do you even remember last week, when I asked you to come around and _meet my parents_ once we were on holiday?"

He sat up too, and nodded. "I remember that," he said, his tone conversational. She scowled.

"And that didn't allude anything to our future?"

"Our what?"

She flushed, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, her back to him.

"Lily," he whined, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "You forgot to answer me."

She turned to him with a glare, but that only made his grin wider. She was about to reply – and tell him he was an idiot – when a grunt came from the next bed.

"Can you do that somewhere else?" a voice followed, sounding sleepy and extremely irritated.

James just rolled his eyes. "Alright, Padfoot," he said, his tone placating. "We're going, we're going." He winked at Lily and threw the covers off himself, looking around for a clean shirt.

Lily, who was precise, and had begun to plan ahead when their relationship actually lasted, immediately crouched and pulled some fresh clothes out of the bottom drawer, feeling a familiar burst of pride for having the foresight to put them there, and a familiar wave of excitement when she thought about all the times she had needed it.

They were as quiet as they could be as they got changed and went about their daily routine – which involved Lily deliberately dawdling in the bathroom because she knew it would wind him up, and him informing her that she was welcome to share the shower with him if he liked.

They tiptoed out of the dormitory eventually, both fighting yawns and careful not to annoy Sirius.

"So did your parents ask about me?" James said conversationally as they walked, and as always, Lily could feel him watching her from the corner of his eye.

Immediately, she flushed. "Well, actually," she started slowly. "They know quite a bit about you."

James grinned, knowing where this was heading. "Oh, do they now?"

Lily nodded, looking apologetic. "Yeah, well I used to tell my mum about you. You know. When you were an annoying, bullying prat."

"You told me I was an annoying prat yesterday," he pointed out, trying not to smirk.

"When you were _less _of an annoying prat," she amended, waving her hand dismissively. He shrugged, accepting that, and gestured for her to go on.

"And of course, I told them what an annoying prat you were," she went on, a crease in her forehead etching deeper and deeper as she talked. "And Mum said I was overreacting but you were _really _annoying and –"

"So basically, they already think I'm a conceited, pigheaded idiot with an inflated head?" he cut across her, and for the life of her she couldn't understand why he seemed amused by that.

"Yes, basically," she affirmed, nodding her head and throwing him an innocent smile. "But once I told Mum we were going out, she seemed pretty happy, and said she'd been waiting for the day."

He grinned brilliantly, the way he always did when she brought up them or their relationship, and her stomach did somersaults at the sight. "I like your mum," was all he said, sounding offhanded. But Lily knew how happy he was.

"So you've probably won her over already," Lily went on.

"I do have a way with the ladies," he remarked. Lily rolled her eyes.

"_Anyway," _she said pointedly. "If they're a little sceptical, that's completely my fault."

James was quiet for a few seconds, thoughtful. "So what's your dad like?" he asked eventually.

She frowned in thought. "Alright. Firm. But fair. You should be fine."

"And how does your dad feel about his precious, most wonderful daughter going out with an arrogant git like me?"

"He hasn't decided yet," she retorted coolly, relieved that he didn't seem very worried.

"So what should I steer clear of?" he inquired politely, throwing his eyes upwards.

Lily laughed, wrapping one arm around his middle and resting her head on his shoulder. A lot of things may have been ending, but she could see a bright new beginning.

"Maybe don't mention we've slept in the same bed, we should be fine."

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Reviews are nice. Thanks for reading!


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